GIRL MUSIC is an independent music newsletter for anyone that loves pretty art and music.
[Editor’s note: All quotes are sourced directly from Come as You Are, Nirvana’s official biography]
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Kurt Cobain, September 1990
Edits: Becca Stump and Nathan Miller
The story of NEVERMIND begins with SLIVER.
It was July 11, 1990, and KURT COBAIN and KRIST NOVOSELIC were in the studio with JACK ENDINO to record a new track that was to be the A-side for a new single record label SUB POP wanted from NIRVANA.
On drums was DAN PETERS, on loan from MUDHONEY, (CHAD CHANNING had recently departed the band) and all three performers were using the instruments—and studio time—of TAD, during their one-hour lunch break.
NIRVANA was moving into a more pop-oriented direction, and SLIVER would prepare audiences for the pop-hooked choruses being paired with the intensity that the Olympia rock group was already known for in performances.
“I decided I wanted to write the most ridiculous pop song that I had ever written. It was like a statement in a way. I had to write a real pop song and release it on a single to prepare people for the next record. I wanted to write more songs like that.
It was done so fast and raw and perfect that I don’t think we could capture that again if we decided to rerecord it. It’s just one of those recordings that happened and you can’t try to reproduce it”
Kurt Cobain discussing ‘Sliver’ with Nirvana biographer Michael Azerrad
Kurt was consuming much more pop-influenced music during this period, and it was all naturally mixing into the abrasive rock music he grew up with, in addition to Olympia’s D.I.Y. “learn how to NOT play your instrument, so you can play from your heart” music and punk scene incubating the songwriter at the time.
Kurt Cobain was about to bring weirdo, outsider music to the top of the Billboard 200, MTV, and Saturday Night Live—and it was going to be from blurring the lines between Kurt’s favorite kinds of music: punk rock and pop.
Peters would only guest on drums for one live show with Nirvana, but it was legendary.
Dave Grohl was in attendance, having just flown up to Seattle to become the band’s new drummer. Buzz Osborne, from Washington punk band (the) Melvins, was able to connect Kurt, Krist, and Dave.
Osborne knew Grohl was looking for a job behind drums, and he also knew that Kurt and Krist were already fans of his drumming style and technique.
Grohl witnessed the first live performance of ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ that night, giving him a glimpse of all the other ingredients he would be joining and completing.
“His name is Dave and he’s a baby Dale Crover [of (the) Melvins)]. He plays almost as good as Dale. And within a few years, he may even give him a run for his money.
Dan’s such a beautiful guy, and such a beautiful drummer, but you can’t pass up an opportunity to play with the drummer of our dreams, which is Dave.
Dave’s been the drummer of our dreams for like two years. It’s a bummer, a big bummer.”
Kurt Cobain speaking to Calvin Johnson on KAOS
Within a few weeks, Kurt and Dave are living together in Kurt’s Olympia apartment, with a Nirvana rehearsal space secured in Tacoma.
They had no money.
They had almost nothing but time.
All they did was practice—from ten in the morning until one in the morning the following day—while Kurt processed his particularly difficult breakup with Tobi Vail, (drummer for Bikini Kill), another feminist artist from inside the Olympia punk scene.
According to Kurt, the apartment the two shared was “the most filthy pigsty” he had ever lived in.
Dave described it as “small, dirty, and smelly,” which definitely makes sense considering he slept in the same room where Kurt’s tank of pet turtles was kept.
Kurt’s mood from his breakup with Tobi left him uninterested in doing anything besides practicing, and when his mood did finally lift, his creative spirit felt strong from the encouragement of Olympia’s artistic community being so accepting.
“Kurt sort of came out of his shell. He was around more, he seemed happier with his life. He was hanging out with actual Olympians.”
Slim Moon, Kill Rock Stars label founder, and Kurt’s neighbor at the time, speaking about the impact of Dave living with Kurt
“We felt like we could do whatever we wanted to do. There weren’t any restrictions. It got weird. We’d do these noisy, new-wave, noise, experimental jam things. We’d always start off the practice just jamming. We’d set up and plug in and jam for twenty minutes on nothing at all.”
Dave Grohl, discussing time with Kurt in Olympia and early rehearsals with Nirvana
After months of non-stop practice, Kurt, Krist, and Dave couldn’t have been more in sync.
It was time for Dave’s first Nirvana performance.
Nirvana’s North Shore Surf Club performance was absolutely electric.
The band blew the venue’s circuit—twice—and Dave even broke his snare drum, which Kurt proudly showed off to the audience.
“I picked it up and held it in front of the audience to show them that we have a new drummer who’s very good.”
Kurt Cobain, discussing Nirvana’s North Shore Surf Club performance
“Kurt and Chris knew—and everybody else knew who saw them play—that they were only a hint of what they could be until Dave joined the band. He just knew how to play drums and he understood their music. Chad just never got it and the guys before Chad never really got it. Danny was a great drummer but he just wasn’t right.”
Slim Moon
Kurt Cobain finally had all the instruments and players to execute on the album he had been planning in his journals for longer than he would ever admit to anyone in his circles.
After a brief European tour with L7—a tough as nails rock group from L.A.—to promote the ‘Sliver/Dive’ single for Sub Pop, Nirvana would make their messy but ultimately necessary switch from Sub Pop to a major record label.
Kurt had long desired better and bigger distribution.
“I don’t wanna have any other kind of job. I can’t work among people. I may as well try and make a career out of this. All my life my dream has been to be a big rock star—just may as well abuse it while you can. We figured we may as well get on the radio and try and make a little bit of money at it.”
Kurt Cobain speaking with music journalist Keith Cameron while on tour with L7 in Europe
The energy on the tour was palpable. It was like Kurt knew what was coming.
In reality, no one could have predicted what would happen once NEVERMIND was unleashed on the world.
“I remember Kurt saying that the album was going to go Top Ten and there were these tracks that were going to be massive singles. You could see in his face that he totally believed that. He knew it.”
Nirvana’s U.K. publicist Anton Brookes discussing Kurt during the European tour
Susie Tenant, Sonic Youth, and Nirvana (Summer 1991)
Kurt, Krist, and Dave would go on to meet with several major labels through the assistance of Gold Mountain Management—which came at the recommendation of KIM GORDON from SONIC YOUTH—but none felt like a good fit until they met with DGC/Geffen.
The label believed in Nirvana’s music, and was ready to market it to the same audience as Sonic Youth—who were also signed with DGC—which was really all Kurt wanted (other than the secret, rock star dreams of stardom).
Kurt ultimately felt like the distribution—and the lack of focus he felt like Nirvana was receiving from Sub Pop—were the band’s biggest issues in bringing their music to the masses.
As far as he was concerned, the music was already there—and he was right.
Early draft lyrics for ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ and ‘In Bloom’
Nirvana signed a contract that gave them a $287,000 advance—this largely went to taxes, legal fees, and management fees—as well as full mechanical royalties after their album achieves ‘Gold’ status in sales.
Nirvana split Sub-Pop’s $75,000 buyout—from the band’s advance—with Geffen, freeing the band of their previous contract.
The arrangement between Nirvana, DGC, and Sub-Pop also included the Sub Pop logo being on the back cover of Nirvana’s next two albums, as well as Sub Pop receiving 2% of sales from Nirvana’s next two records.
“I don’t necessarily regret it [looking back on it] because I enjoy knowing I’m helping Sub Pop put out some really good music.”
Kurt Cobain discussing the record deal with Michael Azerrad
There was no animosity.
It was just growing pains.
Nirvana needed more.
“Had we not had that agreement, Bruce [Pavitt] and I would probably be washing dishes at this moment.”
Jonathan Poneman discussing the impact of Nirvana’s DGC record deal for Sub Pop
It took a lot of money from Nirvana’s pocket but Kurt appreciated helping an indie label while also getting what he wanted from a major label.
Kurt Cobain during a March 1991 Nirvana performance
After a long and grueling winter—which included continued poverty while the band waited for their record contract (and advance) to officially begin—Nirvana would enter the studio to record NEVERMIND.
Dave and Krist found out Kurt was using heroin too, but he also promised he would stop, which was easy to believe at the time.
“Kurt said he wouldn’t do it again and I believed him. It seemed so innocent. It seemed like a kid sticking a firecracker in a cat’s butt and lighting it off for the hell of it. It didn’t seem like anything at all.”
Dave Grohl
“The whole winter that Dave and I spent together in that little apartment was the most depressing time I’d had in years. It was so fucking small and dirty and cold and gray every fucking day.
I almost went insane at one point. I just couldn’t handle it. I was so bored and so poor. We were signed to Geffen for months and we didn’t have any money.
We ended up having to pawn our amps and our TV, all kinds of stuff, just to get money to eat corn dogs. It just felt really weird to be signed to this multi-million dollar corporation and be totally dirt poor.
All we did was practice. It was the only thing that saved us. Even that got repetitious after a while.”
Kurt Cobain
Nirvana signed their contract with DGC/Geffen on April 30, 1991.
Krist and his wife Shelli drove their van with the band’s equipment down to L.A.
Kurt and Dave eventually arrived. They had planned a fun road trip adventure but their car broke down, so they borrowed the band’s tour van from Krist’s house, and then made it to L.A.
Well, actually, they had to go on the Universal Studios tour first.
But then Kurt and Dave made it to the Oakwood, which were relatively-cheap, furnished apartments near Devonshire Sound Studios.
Krist promptly began trashing his room and partying, and Kurt started to mess with the drugs he had brought, which admittedly was mostly just cough syrup.
Butch Vig was the producer selected by the band. Kurt was pleased with the last demo they had made with him, which is what was shared with major record labels, and ultimately a big part of what drew Geffen to the band.
It was a good fit.
In the days before the sessions began, Nirvana and Vig worked out the arrangements for the band’s use of the studio.
It was during this time that Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love met and started hanging out.
Courtney only lived a block away from the Oakwood, and was already a part of the music scene and drawn to the area.
Kurt and Courtney chatted, laughed together, and then Kurt gifted her a bunch of Chim-Chim and Nirvana logo stickers before she left.
“I don’t know. I feel embarrassed. I just thought he was really beautiful. He was really cool and he had really beautiful hands. He was really beautiful. I can’t explain it.”
Courtney Love discussing her attraction to Kurt Cobain after spending time with him at the Oakwood
Krist and Dave were okay with Courtney, but Kurt was immediately interested in her.
“She was some loud girl. I’d never heard of her before.”
Krist Novoselic
“We bonded over pharmaceuticals. I had Vicodin extra-strength, which was pills, and he had Hycomine cough syrup. I said ‘You’re a pussy, you shouldn’t drink that syrup because it’s bad for your stomach.’ ”
Courtney talking about when she met Kurt at the Oakwood
Kurt and Courtney flirted with the idea of a relationship, but Kurt kept his phone off the hook to intentionally keep things paused, after standing her up on a date the two had planned.
“I couldn’t decide if I actually wanted to consummate our relationship. She seemed like poison because I’d just gotten out of the last relationship that I didn’t even want to be in. I was determined to be a bachelor for a few months. I just had to be. But I knew that I liked Courtney so much right away that it was a really hard struggle to stay away from her for so many months. It was harder than shit.”
Kurt Cobain
Initial work was completed on Nevermind within sixteen days, with the band being focused and well-rehearsed according to Butch Vig.
“Well, the recording of Nevermind was actually really easy. We did the whole record in 16 days. They had rehearsed so much and were super tight.
Everyone thinks Nirvana had a slacker mentality, but that’s not true at all; they wanted to make a great sounding record, and once Dave Grohl joined the band, they were just rock solid tight.
The record went pretty fast. I would be in around noon, and they would come in at 2 pm, with everything ready to go. We would record, track a song, do a few overdubs, and then take a dinner break. Then we’d work until 9pm, and they’d go party. I’d do a clean-up and maybe a vocal comp.”
The studio was in rough shape, but legendary bands had recorded there before—including Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Rumours’—so the room was certainly capable of meeting the band’s needs.
There was a big drum room, which would be perfect for unleashing and containing Dave’s sound for the record. Butch was also pleased with the studio’s old, classic Neve mixing board, which is highly sought after by many engineers for how rich and warm they are with capturing music.
The studio rates were also pretty cheap, which made it low pressure for Nirvana and DGC/Geffen. If anything went wrong or no one liked what the band produced, they could throw it out and start all over again.
Kurt’s vocals were so rehearsed and similar that mixing takes together was incredibly easy for Butch. Stacking takes together helped highlight the richness and intensity of the Nirvana’s sound by layering Kurt’s singing together.
Butch wanted to double track Kurt’s guitars too, for the same effect, but Kurt was reluctant to do so, worrying that it would damage the pureness of the music.
“I wanted him to double his guitars on some of the songs, especially on choruses, and he didn’t really want to do that.
My logic was, ‘When you guys play live, it’s just so incredibly loud and intense—it’s larger than life and I’m trying to use some of these things I know in the studio to make you guys come across that way on record.’
A lot of times, he’d go, ‘I don’t feel like doing that right now,’ but for the most part, when I asked him to do stuff, he’d eventually do it.
There weren’t any major arguments or anything, but I could tell when I was pushing him a little far and he didn’t want to do something.
A couple of times, he just put his guitar down or walked away from the mike and said, ‘I don’t want to do it anymore.’ And I knew I wasn’t going to get anything else out of him.”
Butch Vig
Dave Grohl and Butch Vig adjusting Dave’s drums during recording sessions
Butch kept the band comfortable by remaining casual and just hanging out with the guys in the studio. He didn’t force them to start recording and just let them gravitate towards their performing positions when they were ready to record.
The band often worked around ten hours each of the sixteen days in the studio, only pausing for a dinner break once they got started—and after each song to change Dave’s drum heads because of how hard he beat them, leaving small splinters of wood all around his drum kit.
If an instrumental take didn’t go the way the band liked, they would move on and come back to it later. This kept things moving and prevented anyone from becoming unnecessarily frustrated.
“It was really nice to all of a sudden find yourself in a totally warm, tropical climate. I don’t think it would have turned out nearly as well if we did it in Washington.”
Kurt Cobain discussing how the Los Angeles weather influenced ‘Nevermind’
Kurt’s lyrics for the songs were half finished and all over the place. Sometimes Kurt would try out different phrasings and words during a take, and then ask Krist, Dave, and Butch which lyric they preferred.
This lead to “Pay to Play” becoming “Stay Away,” aiming the lyrical trajectory in a different emotional place entirely.
‘Lithium’ recording sessions kept going awry until Kurt finally announced to Butch that he wanted to “keep the tape rolling while the band tried an experiment.”
Kurt then began flailing his guitar and screaming into a microphone while Krist and Dave just matched and followed along, as if this frenzy of chaos was something they played daily.
When asked what he was screaming during ‘Endless, Nameless’ Kurt said that he wasn’t completely sure but thinks that it is “I think I can, I know I can.”
After Kurt finished breaking his guitar, the band also had to break for the day; that was the last left-handed guitar in the studio.
Butch mixed the song quickly with the band and they decided to find a place on the album for the noise jam.
Kurt would ultimately decide on ‘Endless, Nameless’ playing after ten minutes of silence, after the last listed song on the album. He thought this would be funny, as well as shocking to listeners. This ‘ten minutes of silence’ followed by a loud, noisy song was Nirvana’s way of playing with the CD format, which was new at the time.
Dave Grohl and Kurt Cobain in the studio during the making of Nevermind
For ‘Territorial Pissings’ Kurt plugged his guitar directly into the mixing board, which is how many guitarists laid down tracks on punk albums in the 70’s and 80’s. It was finished in one take. It’s beautiful and terrible. It’s perfect.
Butch was impressed with all of the music the band had been playing, feeling confident about the album’s chances at cracking the charts, but ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ immediately got Vig running around with excitement.
According to Butch, ‘Something in the Way’ was the most difficult song to record.
There was just too much noise in the room around Kurt, his guitar, and the microphone.
Kurt and Butch decided to have Kurt laying down on a couch, with the nylon-string acoustic guitar against him.
Butch then turned off every single fan, phone, and anything else in the studio that could even potentially make noise.
Kurt then sang the song in a chilling whisper that’s barely above the break in his voice, shimmering just like water under a bridge on a night illuminated by moonlight.
Dave and Krist finished laying down bass and drum parts in the first few days. After that Kurt stayed focused on vocals, guitar overdubs, and refining lyrics.
Kurt’s voice went out a lot during vocal sessions too, even with the cough syrup and Jack Daniel’s whiskey he’d been consuming, to preserve his voice.
There were a few times where Kurt’s voice went out after just one take, like in the case of ‘Territorial Pissings.’
Kurt was disappointed because he had to cut a few acoustic songs and fragments from the album, at the informal request of DGC/Geffen.
They were rich, melodic, and sounded great, but there was concern that it would look like the record label was asking Nirvana to “sell out” with these songs that were so different.
Even though what was actually happening was the same thing that happened between Sub Pop and Kurt; he was having to play his music to a specific angle for his record label.
“We thought, let’s not put [the songs cut from Nevermind] on this record because we don’t want to make this record look [unfinished], first of all—but [also so it looks less like] … some big huge commercial sell-out or something.”
Gary Gersh recalling a conversation he had with Kurt Cobain during the making of Nevermind
Geffen brought Andy Wallace to mix the album when the band was finished, sweetening the sound some—according to some—or enhancing the sound—according to others.
Regardless though, Kurt and the band were happy at the time with how their album sounded after Wallace was done mixing, even if they did have mixed (ha!) feelings about sacrificing some of the pureness of their album at the time and in later years.
“We’d get in and he’d play us his mix and he wasn’t too kind to suggestions. He did a lot of tweaking of the drums, making them more digital-sounding. Everything had a produced weirdness. All we wanted to do was record these songs and get a record out because it had been so long since ‘Bleach’ and we’d been playing these songs and they were great and we were excited and we wanted to record them before we got totally sick of them, which we already were. So it was just like, ‘Let’s get it over with.’”
Dave Grohl speaking in 1993 on his thoughts regarding Andy Wallace remixing Nevermind in 1991
“He gave some real wide stereo separation using some doubling and delays on guitars and things. He put a little bit of gloss on the voice but I don’t think he went too far with it. If anything, we wanted to make sure the mixes still sounded fairly organic.”
Butch Vig speaking in 1993 on his thoughts regarding Andy Wallace remixing Nevermind in 1991
“… because it sold eight million records, now we’re allowed to do whatever we want. It was part of the plan that we had to try to get on the radio and get our foot in the door and be able to do whatever we want for the rest of the time we’re a band.”
Kurt Cobain speaking in 1993 on his thoughts regarding Andy Wallace remixing Nevermind in 1991
In August 1991, Nirvana would go on tour with Sonic Youth in Europe, and this is the last time any of the band members of Nirvana had normal lives. It can be seen on 1991: The Year Punk Broke.
The tour was filled with so much vandalism, destruction, and antics, that there was actually a few days where Kurt and Dave wondered if Kurt had pulled off the dream he had always joked about; signing to a major label and getting kicked off while laughing with the money, with their names already out there from the major label album release.
Kurt Cobain (September 1991)
On September 24, 1991, Nevermind was released and 40,000 copies were shipped to stores. It wouldn’t be nearly enough for the demand that would follow, which would come before Nirvana’s MTV debut.
Nirvana had just achieved the impossible and organically grown and brought their punk rock presence and pop music to the masses—with boots on the ground work.
Nevermind was selling constantly—immediately—and the band had no idea. They were on tour for their album in Europe.
Kurt, Krist, and Dave didn’t even know ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ was playing non-s-top on MTV, until people were tapping them on the shoulders and telling them.
They were touring and playing just like they had been doing.
On October 25, Kurt and Krist taped an interview for MTV’s ‘Headbanger’s Ball,’ and Kurt showed up in a beautiful, yellow, ballgown—and with sass.
Kurt was uncomfortable being on a heavy-metal oriented show, which had an audience that had people who literally used to beat up people like him. It just felt weird and he dealt with it in his own way.
Kurt barely said anything, with Krist just yapping away, while Kurt just sat there in his elegant dress, with sunglasses on and hair in his face.
“It’s ‘Headbanger’s Ball’ so I thought I’d wear a gown,” Kurt explained, while complaining to the host about how Krist wouldn’t even wear his tux.
“He didn’t give me a corsage, either,” Kurt bantered on.
“Hey, at least I asked you out,” Krist replied effeminately, while the host just nervously laughed.
Nirvana was in charge, and Kurt wanted rock music to go in a much different direction than what he’d been witnessing for the last decade.
“Obviously, I wouldn’t want to allow my ego to admit that we’re that great of a band, that we deserve that much attention, but I knew that [Nevermind] was better than 99 percent of anything else on a commercial level.
I knew we were a hundred times better than fucking Guns n’ Roses, Whitesnake, or any of that shit.
It just made me feel stupid because there are so many other bands in the underground that are as good or better than we are and we’re the only ones getting any attention. It just made me feel sorry for everybody that was freaking out about it because it just seemed sad that we’re one of the only bands like us that are being exposed to the mainstream.”
Kurt Cobain discussing Nirvana’s success with Nevermind
Nevermind was in the top 10 of the Billboard 200 by December 1991, not even a full three months since it released, and soon Nirvana would be performing on Saturday Night Live and taking the number one spot on the charts from Michael Jackson.
It almost felt like a dream, too much to believe, but Kurt had been so methodical that a sliver of him had to have seen it coming.
Kurt Cobain, Krist Novoselic, and Dave Grohl chose to use their sudden fame to bring attention to independent artists they cared about, by talking about the bands and artists in interviews or wearing t-shirts with the band names scratched across the front in permanent marker.
The rock trio also used their position in the music industry to bring attention to feminist art, female-led bands, and feminist causes.
The best example of all of these things together is perhaps when Kurt intentionally sabotaged a performance of ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit',’ during a 1992 performance in Buenos Aires, Argentina. After the crowd booed off opening band Calamity Jane, a female punk group from Portland, Kurt decided to toy with the crowd for the rest of the show, which included multiple false starts into the song he knew the audience wanted to hear.
Nothing in music was the same after the release of Nevermind, including Nirvana, who decided to take time off while number one in the world in 1992, something artists don’t usually do.
But Kurt, Krist, and Dave were tired, it was time to rest, and the band would have time for future art and antics when accepting accolades at the 1992 MTV Video Music Awards.
The band’s next album, Incesticide, would be a collection of outtakes and unreleased songs, which would release in time for the December holiday season.
Kurt wanted time to prepare the band’s next studio album, and it was a good way to make sure the admittedly-good songs still saw the light of day.
It was also an opportunity for Kurt Cobain to address Nirvana’s new, massive audience, in the opening liner notes of this collection of songs he knew most of the world would be buying for Christmas.
“At this point I have a request for our fans. If any of you in any way hate homosexuals, people of different color, or women, please do this one favor for us -- leave us the fuck alone! Don't come to our shows and don't buy our records.
Kurt Cobain, in the closing liner notes of Incesticide
